The Devil Inside Read online

  Maybe Adam was just giving me a hard time. Maybe he and Dominic weren’t doing anything in the room next door. Or maybe the room next door was soundproofed. I remembered those neatly coiled whips and hoped to God it was.

  Strangely enough, though the room was scary as hell, I hadn’t noticed any signs of chains or restraints of any sort, like I’d assumed you’d find in an S&M dungeon. Maybe it was just for show?

  That faint hope faded when I heard what could only be the crack of a whip. I gasped and hugged myself, retreating as far as I could to the other side of the room, where a platform bed rested against the wall. I climbed onto the bed and squeezed myself into the corner, covering my ears with my hands.

  And still I heard it. One lash after another, going on for what felt like forever.

  Then it got worse. Dominic started to cry out after each lash. His voice sliced through me. I wanted to crash through the wall and tackle Adam, make him stop hurting him. How could he do that to someone he’d kissed so tenderly not so long ago? How could Dominic let him? How could Dominic like it?

  I was crying, and I hadn’t even noticed the first tear falling. I wished I hadn’t been so fucking noble about trying to protect Brian. If I’d just let him win our argument, I could be cuddled in his warm, safe arms even now. My heart ached, and I hated myself more than a little.

  Words can’t describe how relieved I was when the whip finally fell silent. I hoped Dominic was all right.

  Soon I heard evidence that he was just fine.

  In some ways, pain sounds and pleasure sounds are almost alike. But there was no way I could misinterpret the sounds Dominic was making now as pain.

  The walls might as well have been made of paper. Either that, or Dominic was just that loud. Adam hardly made a sound, though every once in a while I heard a grunt of pleasure that sounded too deep for Dominic’s voice. Their bed was against the wall between our rooms, the headboard thumping rhythmically as the bedsprings squeaked.

  My fear and revulsion leaked away. My hands slid away from my ears, and instead of just hearing, I listened. And in my mind’s eye, I built an image of the two of them, both naked, both beautiful. Adam, pale and powerfully built, Dominic with his olive skin and his almost lanky frame. Dominic bent over that black, black bed, with Adam riding him.

  I pressed the heels of my hands against my eyes, but that didn’t make the image go away, didn’t stop the arousal that dampened my panties against all logic. It had never occurred to me that I might find the image of two men going at it erotic. Maybe there were parts of myself I’d never dared explore. That I never wanted to explore.

  I fought my arousal as hard as I could, but as long as Adam and Dominic kept fucking so loudly, it was a battle I couldn’t win. Fighting myself every step of the way, I slid my hand between my legs. And then I couldn’t fight it anymore.

  My hand moved to the rhythm of their thrusts, and I lost myself to the forbidden, erotic images. I was going to be mortified when this was all over. And I didn’t give a shit.

  I clapped my other hand over my mouth as the pleasure mounted. I couldn’t bear the thought that they might hear even the slightest sound from me, though logic said they wouldn’t hear anything over the racket they were making.

  Dominic cried out in release, Adam’s cry coming a heartbeat later. My back arched and I bit the inside of my cheek so hard I tasted blood as those sounds burst through the last of my resistance and I came.

  Afterward, I walked on shaky legs to the bathroom. I’d originally thought the door led to a closet, or I might have hidden in there instead of huddling on the bed. Would the sound of running water have drowned out the sounds from the next room? I didn’t think so.

  I stared at myself in the mirror for a long time. My face was flushed, my eyes and cheeks sticky with tears. I took a shuddering breath then turned on the taps, washing my hands then splashing cold water on my face.

  Adam had been deliberately toying with me, and I was letting him win. That pissed me off.

  When in doubt, get angry, that’s my motto.

  The anger actually helped me feel better. Yes, I was still embarrassed by how I’d reacted to the sound of them having sex. And yes, I was still freaked out and vaguely sickened by what had come before. But I felt steadier, calmer.

  I turned my energies toward thoughts of escape. Not that I felt I was literally in danger here. I’m not the trusting sort, but I believed Adam really wanted to protect Lugh. I just thought the price I’d have to pay for Adam’s protection was too steep.

  Unfortunately, there wasn’t any way out except through the door I’d come in. The windows were shielded by decorative iron grilles, a not-uncommon safeguard against thieves. I messed with the door a bit, but I’m not a locksmith.

  About forty-five minutes after the festivities next door had halted, a key slid into the lock on my door.

  I’d been pacing the room, frustrated and trapped, but I stumbled to a halt. I tried to brace myself, but I wasn’t sure my nerves were up to another sparring session. If Adam goaded me, I’d give him far more satisfaction than I wanted.

  Only it wasn’t Adam who stepped into my room a moment later, it was Dominic. He shoved the door closed with his foot, and I saw that he carried a tray. Seconds later, the aroma of garlic and green peppers hit me, and my stomach reminded me I hadn’t eaten since noon.

  He didn’t meet my gaze as he laid the tray down on an antique writing desk that faced the window. As I watched, a flush crawled up his neck. I wasn’t sure which one of us was more embarrassed.

  “Are you all right?” I asked him.

  He looked at me for the first time, and though he was still blushing, there was a hint of a smile on his lips. “I’m fine.” He cleared his throat and stared at his feet. “And I’m sorry about…all that.” His cheeks reddened further. “Adam does enjoy his mind games.”

  He pulled out the chair in front of the desk for me, every inch the gentleman. I was way too hungry to ignore the invitation, especially when the scent made my mouth water like Niagara Falls. I was, however, still in a pretty bitchy frame of mind.

  “Sounded like he wasn’t the only one enjoying it,” I said, then wished I hadn’t. First, it was snarky. Second, I really didn’t want to talk about their sex life.

  To my surprise, Dominic didn’t take offense. He grinned at me, a surprisingly sweet, boyish expression. “He can be a jerk sometimes, but he sure knows how to make up for it.”

  I sat and examined my plate, which featured chicken smothered with peppers and onions and tomato sauce over a mound of spaghetti. It smelled heavenly. There was also a glass of dark red wine, which I ignored. I sampled a bite of the chicken, and I think my taste buds had an orgasm.

  Dominic plopped into a recliner and looked at me expectantly. I licked my lips to catch the last drip of sauce while I cut off another hunk.

  “Did you make this?” I asked with my mouth full. My mom would have had a conniption fit over my table manners.

  “Yes,” he admitted modestly, though I could tell he was pleased with my reaction.

  “It’s delicious,” I told him, just to make sure he got the message. “You were wasted as a firefighter—you should have been a chef.”

  His smile fell away, and I wished I’d kept that little gem to myself.

  “Sorry. That was insensitive. I was just trying to give you a compliment.” I tried a wry grin. “I’m not very good at it.”

  He laughed at that, and it made me feel a little better. The laughter faded, and he rubbed his chest absently.

  “It’s only been five days,” he said. “Sometimes it feels like it happened an hour ago. Sometimes it seems more like a year. I don’t quite know what to do with myself. If it weren’t for Adam, I think I’d have gone crazy by now.”

  I wondered if I would ever come close to getting this guy. “How can you be so close to him when you’ve only known him for five days? I mean, only known him as yourself. Er…” I couldn’t think of how to phrase my
question so it made sense, and I really wished I hadn’t tried.

  Dominic gave me a funny look. “I was still me when I was hosting Saul. It’s not like I ceased to exist just because I wasn’t in the driver’s seat.” He smiled faintly. “Saul was very fond of Adam, but I was the one who always loved him.” The smile turned sad, the pain in his eyes enough to make me wince. “And I loved Saul, too. He deserved so much better than he got.”

  I really hated seeing his pain, and I thought about the secret Adam was keeping. Lugh told me they weren’t allowed to tell humans the truth. But there was nothing stopping me.

  “Did Adam tell you my…situation?” I asked him.

  Dominic shook off his melancholy with a visible effort. “He told me you were hosting someone who can’t control you.”

  “Did he tell you who it was?” I didn’t get my hopes up, which was a good thing.

  Dominic shook his head. “No. He just said that it’s someone who outranks him in their world. Someone important.”

  “Yeah, well, my uninvited guest told me something I think you should know.” I tore myself away from my plate, because this wasn’t something you told someone while you were casually stuffing your face.

  “The whole thing about exorcism killing demons is apparently a myth. Your demon isn’t dead.”

  For a long, frozen moment, Dominic stared at me in shock. Then he burst into tears.

  It startled me for a moment. I’d seen him cry before, right after the exorcism, but that hadn’t been as shocking. Yeah, I know gay guys are supposed to be more sensitive, more in touch with their feelings, yada, yada, but Dominic just looks too much like your typical manly man. I hadn’t the first idea how to deal with his tears.

  He moaned Adam’s name, and the tears turned into wrenching sobs that tore at my heart.

  Well, shit. I might have just given Dominic the good news that his demon wasn’t dead, but I’d also given him the bad news that Adam had known and hadn’t told him. Although I hadn’t done it consciously, I think there was a small, spiteful part of me that wanted to stick it to Adam for what he’d done today. But sticking it to Adam by hurting Dominic was just low and mean.

  “He couldn’t tell you,” I said, wondering if it was even possible to heal the wound I’d just made. “It’s against their laws.”

  It sounded lame, so I shut up. I was pond scum. Yeah, I thought Dominic should know his demon was still alive, but this sure as hell hadn’t been the way to go about it.

  The door to my room slammed open. I jumped and let out a startled yelp. Dominic didn’t even look up.

  Adam looked from me, to Dominic, then back to me. The look on his face was deadly.

  “What did you do?” His voice sounded calm, but he wasn’t anything like calm.

  I felt awful, but I wasn’t going to admit it to Adam. I held my chin up and met his angry gaze. “I told him his demon isn’t dead.”

  If looks could kill…

  “Fuck!” Adam shouted. He strode forward.

  I thought he was coming after me, so I leapt out of my chair, but he was going to Dominic, who still hadn’t looked up. His sobs were loud and heartbroken, and he was rocking back and forth in his chair.

  Adam knelt in front of the chair, putting both hands on Dominic’s shoulders.

  “Dom,” he said softly, gently. “I couldn’t tell you. I’m so sorry.”

  Dominic stopped rocking and looked up with tear-reddened eyes. “How could you let me believe he was dead? How?”

  “Because I thought I had to. If I’d known Lugh had lifted the injunction against it, I would have told you in a heartbeat.” He drew Dominic off the chair and onto his knees, then wrapped his arms around the still-sobbing man.

  Cradling Dominic’s head against his chest, Adam glared at me with such malevolence my skin tried to crawl away and hide. I considered making a break for the door, but I wasn’t sure I’d live through the escape attempt.

  “If you weren’t hosting Lugh,” he growled at me, “I’d kick your ass out the door and hang a big bull’s-eye on your back.”

  A chill snaked down my spine. The humanity had disappeared from his eyes and his demon shone through. Literally. His eyes were glowing, like Lugh’s did in my dreams.

  Usually when I know I’m in the wrong, all my defenses go up and I go into full-out bitch mode. I always regret it afterward, but that’s how I react in the heat of the moment. This time, I felt too shitty to mount even the most pathetic of defenses. It wasn’t just because I was scared of Adam, either, though I was. Big, strong, fireman Dominic brought out something in me I hadn’t known I’d had—a protective instinct that I might almost have called maternal.

  I met Adam’s furious glare. “I’m sorry. I didn’t think before I spoke.”

  He didn’t say anything, just kept staring at me with those glowing eyes until I had to look away.

  I heard him stand, heard him urge Dominic to come with him so they could talk. Their feet passed in front of my field of vision on their way out, but I was too ashamed of myself to look up.

  The door closed behind them with a deafening slam.

  Chapter 15

  There was another round of whipping later that night. Only this time, it was Adam’s voice I heard crying out in pain—not even a hint of pleasure—and there were no sex sounds afterward. My guess was that Adam had done penance for keeping that crucial secret. I hoped it was cathartic for Dominic.

  I hadn’t bought any PJ’s on my shopping trip, and I wasn’t about to sleep naked in this house, so I curled up in bed fully clothed. I don’t think I’d ever felt so miserable about myself in all my life. My mind kept going over and over how I’d treated Brian and the rift I’d caused between Adam and Dominic. Asking myself when I’d come to be so hateful. Wondering if it was too late for me to change.

  I must have drifted off eventually, because the next thing I knew I was in Lugh’s living room—or whatever it was.

  I was sitting on the sofa, and Lugh sat on the love seat facing me across the coffee table. His right ankle was propped on his left knee, his arms spread out across the back of the love seat. He’d backed off from last night’s aggressive outfit. Black leather pants and boots seemed to be a uniform for him, but tonight he topped it with a plain black T-shirt. He still looked good enough to eat, but I didn’t feel an unbearable urge to fling myself at him. That was a plus.

  My native defensiveness made an appearance, and before he had a chance to speak, I asked, “So are you going to tell me what a miserable bitch I am for what I said to Dominic?”

  He smiled faintly. “Should I?”

  I sighed. “Probably.”

  “You’re too hard on yourself.” His voice was rich and dark as molasses. “You meant well.”

  I sank into the sofa and crossed my arms over my chest. “Did I? Adam sure didn’t think so.”

  “Adam barely knows you.”

  “And you know me better?” Dumb question. He probably knew me better than I knew myself, even though he was a total stranger to me.

  He just smiled. “Your technique could use some work, but your heart was in the right place.”

  I suddenly remembered something Adam had said, something I hadn’t paid much attention to at the time. If I’d known Lugh had lifted the injunction…

  Lugh had lifted the injunction? Just how “I” was this VIP?

  “So,” I said, “Adam seems to think you’re worth protecting.”

  Lugh slid his ankle off his knee and put both feet on the floor. “As I happen to be inhabiting your body, I should think you’d agree.” He smiled at me. It was a friendly, disarming smile. But I’m not that easy to disarm.

  “Wanna tell me who you are?”

  “Not particularly. You haven’t shown yourself to be the soul of discretion.”

  He scored a hit. I tried not to let it show. “Considering all the shit I’ve gone through because of you, I think I deserve to know anyway. I was almost burned alive last night, if you remember.”


  I think I scored on that one, though Lugh’s expression didn’t change much. He leaned forward and propped his elbows on his knees, looking at me as if trying to puzzle me out. His gaze was disconcertingly intense.

  “Stop looking at me like that!” I snapped.

  One corner of his mouth lifted, but he didn’t let it become a full smile. “I suppose you do have the right to know how high the stakes are.”

  I kinda thought the stakes were pretty high already, what with people trying to crispy-critter me, but I kept that opinion to myself.

  “I told you I’m a reformer,” Lugh continued.

  I made a “keep talking” motion with my hand.

  He seemed to brace himself. “I frighten my own people because I have the power to make my reforms come to pass. You see, I’ve just ascended to the throne. I’m their king.”

  Well, that was a stunner, no doubt about it. I was possessed by the king of the demons? Hell, I hadn’t even known they had a king. Then I realized he said he’d just ascended to the throne, which suggested that beforehand, he’d been a prince. Named Lugh.

  I think for a moment, my heart stopped beating.

  Lugh laughed at me. “No, I’m not Lucifer,” he assured me. Either he’d read my mind, or my face gave away my thoughts. “Although I suppose it’s possible some of the mythology is loosely based on me.” I probably didn’t look any less alarmed. He rolled his eyes. “Remember, this is the same mythology that says demons live in the fires of Hell. There have always been segments of the human population who find us frightening and therefore vilify us. That doesn’t make the stories true.”

  He had a point. Much as I disliked demons, I’d never subscribed to the hellfire-and-brimstone point of view. There was no reason to change that now. I nodded to indicate I was over my moment of superstitious dread.

  “My brothers have taken the first step to start a war of succession,” he continued, “though I suppose if they succeed in killing me, it will not be much of a war.”

  “Brothers…” I made the word halfway a question, though I would have liked to come up with something more eloquent and intelligent-sounding.